HAHAHAHA!
This is so darn funny! LOL LOL
Written by a rationale Malay guy. HAHA!
>> Makin hari umat Islam makin ditindas dan dikongkong. Bukan oleh orang Cina, atau orang India atau orang Yahudi atau orang Kristian. Tetapi dianiya dan dikongkong oleh orang Islam/Melayu sendiri. Please read on.
Selepas fatwa pengharaman yoga, fatwa-fatwa yang akan datang adalah seperti berikut :
Disember 2008
Orang Islam dilarang mandi di kolam renang awam. Di kolam renang awam, akan terdapat orang-orang yang bukan Islam yang memakai pakaian renang yang singkat dan mendedahkan aurat (terutamanya amoi-amoi china yang cun dan seksi). Ini boleh menjejaskan akidah orang Islam. Cara yang paling baik ialah kita haramkan orang Islam dari kolam renang awam.
Januari 2009
Orang Islam dilarang pergi ke Pulau Pinang. Ketua Menteri Pulau Pinang adalah seorang yang bukan Islam and majoriti penduduk Pulau Pinang adalah orang yang bukan Islam. Apabila seorang Islam berada di Pulau Pinang , beliau mungkin terhidu bau char keoy tiaw yang dimasak oleh orang bukan Islam dan ini boleh merosakkan akidah kita. Cara yang paling baik ialah kita haramkan orang Islam dari pergi ke Pulau Pinang. Orang Islam yang kini tinggal di Pulau Pinang akan diberi elaun pindah sebanyak RM 3000 untuk membantu mereka berpindah ke negeri-negeri yang lain. Perpindahan ke negeri Kelantan dan Terengganu amat amat digalakkan.
Februari 2009
Orang Islam dilarang meminum root beer. Walaupun root beer tidak mengandungi alkohol, namun perkataan "beer" ini boleh menimbulkan keghairan dan kelakuan tidak senonoh di kalangan orang Islam. Dengan pengharaman root beer, orang Islam bolehlah meminum minuman ringan yang lain tanpa was-was. Ginger beer juga diharamkan.
March 2009
Orang Islam dilarang memakan di kedai Mamak. Walaupun mamak kebanyakkannya Islam, tetapi asal usul mereka adalah India dan ada kemungkinan terdapat unsur-unsur India di dalam perniagaan mereka seperti bercakap Tamil dan memakai seluar dalam buatan India . Untuk mengelakkan sebarang syak wasangka, mulai 1 Mac 2009, orang Islam dilarang dari memakan di kedai mamak (kecuali Tun Mahatir kerana dia sendiri mamak kelas I)
April 2009
Orang Islam dilarang bermain ping pong atau table tennis. Ping pong berasal dari negeri China dan oleh yang demikian, mungkin terdapat unsur-unsur agama Buddha atau Confuciusism di dalam permainan ping pong. Ornag Islam yang terlalu banyak bermain ping pong akan terjejas akidah mereka. Sebagai permainan alternatif, orang Islam digalakkan bermain sepak raga (tetapi bola raga mesti buatan Malaysia , bukan dari Thailand ).
Mei 2009
Orang Islam yang berkerja dengan kerajaan dilarang mengambil gaji masing-masing. Ini kerana sebahagian besar pendapatan kerajaan adalah cukai pendapatan yang dibayar oleh syarikat-syarikat orang bukan Islam. Orang Islam digalakkan meminta sedekah dari orang Islam yang lain. Untuk memudahkan permintaan sedekah, bakal peminta sedekah digalakkan mencangkung di hadapan bangunan UMNO.
Jun 2009
Orang Islam dilarang keluar negara. Terdapat terlalu banyak godaan yang boleh meruntuhkan akhlak dan akidah orang Islam. Perkara ini telahpun dikaji dengan teliti hasil lawatan sambil belajar ke Bangkok oleh Majlis Fatwa Kebangsaan baru-baru ini. Oleh yang demikian, orang orang Islam diminta menyerahkan balik paspot masing-masing ke jabatan immigresen secepat mungkin. Perjalanan keluar negara hanya dibenarkan untuk menteri-menteri dan orang kuat UMNO sahaja, itupun hanya jika diiringi oleh ahli Majlis Fatwa Kebangsaan.
Julai 2009
Orang Islam dilarang berfikir di waktu siang. Kebanyakkan masalah jenayah dan maksiat wujud kerana orang-orang yang tak ada kerja berfikir yang bukan-bukan. Untuk membenteras maslah jeneyah dan maksiat, orang-orang Islam mulai 1 Julai 2009, dilarang dari menggunakan otak mereka diwaktu siang. Pemikiran mereka akan dipantau oleh Majlis Fatwa Kebangsaan dengan menggunakan sekumpulan specially trained monkeys. Orang Islam boleh menggunakan otak mereka di waktu malam tetapi pemikiran dihadkan kepada perkara-perkara berkaitan dengan makan dan minum sahaja.
I had a good laugh!
Saturday, November 29, 2008
Wednesday, November 26, 2008
Exam Blues
Its finals next week! Don't really feel like its exam period... feeling soo... lepak-ish. LOL. It feels so weird.. i mean i just had my mid-sem exam like 2 weeks ago, and now it finals ALREADY -.-
This semester is seriously way too short. lol. Have to switch on my study mode again! Teehee
Guess this explains why classes these days are so monotonous and boring! I can just fall asleep if i don't control myself :P
Which explains why you need friends like these to 'entertain' you :P
Ms. Sharon with the ever so BIG smile of hers. If any of you ever notice a listerine ad in a magazine, thats how big her smile is! :D :D
* psst psst actually way bigger :P :P *
Ms. Xinny Chen always with her cute lil shorts running around and giving people nicknames :P how cute! ;) ;)
Haha.
You guys never fail to make my day!
XOXO
This semester is seriously way too short. lol. Have to switch on my study mode again! Teehee
Guess this explains why classes these days are so monotonous and boring! I can just fall asleep if i don't control myself :P
Which explains why you need friends like these to 'entertain' you :P
Ms. Sharon with the ever so BIG smile of hers. If any of you ever notice a listerine ad in a magazine, thats how big her smile is! :D :D
* psst psst actually way bigger :P :P *
Ms. Xinny Chen always with her cute lil shorts running around and giving people nicknames :P how cute! ;) ;)
Haha.
You guys never fail to make my day!
XOXO
Friday, November 21, 2008
So very random
I normally don't read forward messages.. but these stuff definately caught my attention! :P These stuff are made of paper man!!
Its pretty darn cool dont'cha think??
* yes, i was that bored -.-*
Its pretty darn cool dont'cha think??
* yes, i was that bored -.-*
Monday, November 17, 2008
Exams... sigh!
I just realised that finals is in 2 weeks!!! 2 weeks!! 14 days!! * rush of adrenaline* *faints*
Man.. this short semester is seriously wayyyyy toooo short!! :S Hmm no wonder they only limit it to 2 subject this sem. Had my stats test last saturday. It turned out pretty alright :D thank god! Hehe. Hopefully i didnt make any stupid careless mistakes like i usually do if not i'm gonna shoot myself -.-
For now, I have to get myself to stop procrastinating now! God help me!!
Man.. this short semester is seriously wayyyyy toooo short!! :S Hmm no wonder they only limit it to 2 subject this sem. Had my stats test last saturday. It turned out pretty alright :D thank god! Hehe. Hopefully i didnt make any stupid careless mistakes like i usually do if not i'm gonna shoot myself -.-
This next 2 weeks is all about nerding nerding and more nerding! After finals, i'm free yet again till 2009! hahahaha how i love the holidays! I can so smell it already :P
For now, I have to get myself to stop procrastinating now! God help me!!
Friday, November 14, 2008
you call this a house??!!
I'm finally done with my law assignment!!! :D :D :D Handed it in today. Now just waiting for the results part..hopefully it'll be good ;) ;)
Bah! Have a stats test this saturday! Yes, u heard me right.. SATURDAY!!! Test on a saturday???!!! Yes, at 10am in the morning.
Well, that was MY reaction :P They HAD to spoil our saturday right. Super sad case seriously. I'd normally still be sleeping at that time in the morning! Its so sad, that my dad got free tickets to go watch Quantum of Solace at 11am this saturday as well. And of all days, it clashes wit my test. Even my mum was like.. " why so weird got test on saturday?!!" and my dad was like.."Can't u skip it?" hahahaha. Oh well, it accounts for 40% of the subject.. which is pretty high so there's no way i can skip it. Well, guess james bond has to wait :P
Anyway.. remember this really really WEIRD picture i posted in my last last last post?
Did anybody manage to guess what was it? You won't believe me when i tell you this.
.........
..........
..........
That super SUPER SUPER UGLY HORRENDOUS DISGUSTING WEIRD ODD picture is somebody's house fence!!!!
Yes, u heard me right. Its a house made of weird looking woods :S :S :S
And no, its not a house where they rare birds in to get birds nest if thats what u were thinking....
Its like a proper house house which u and i live in ..that kinda house. Like a proper proper house where u eat sleep and shit.
The fence made of weird looking wood.
The gate.
I wanted to snap more pictures but i'm scared this big guy carrying a wood will come out to whack me. If you see it for yourself, its nothing like the ones i took. Its WAY WAY WAY uglier and BIGGER compared. I couldn't even fit the whole house onto my camera screen. So you can imagine how big it is. And that area is kinda deserted as well! :S So it was really freaky. There was a chill down my spine when i saw it.
Apparently, this house is haunted...( like why am i not suprised) .. like this crazy lady chopped up her husband and committed suicide. The reason they built this "ugly house" will make her spirit not wanna come back. Weird right??!! My mum's friend said its like an "attraction" when guests come over. To me, this "attraction" belongs to the museum for the "weirdest house award".
Seriously, i think the family living here spent a bomb on this house. Like the wood used to build it surely has to be imported and regular pests control needs to come to check the house. Imagine if it gets infested by white ants .. it'll tumble down man!! :S :S When i saw this house, I was seriously DARN FREAKED OUT! First time ever in my whole entire life have i seen this kinda house.
Don't you think so?? :S :S :S :S :S
Btw, the story about the haunted house is made up :P Hehe. I bet you wouldn't have been suprised if it WAS haunted right? :P
It still gives me this weird eerie feeling when i look at it :S
Man, am i gonna have sleepless nights.
Bah! Have a stats test this saturday! Yes, u heard me right.. SATURDAY!!! Test on a saturday???!!! Yes, at 10am in the morning.
Well, that was MY reaction :P They HAD to spoil our saturday right. Super sad case seriously. I'd normally still be sleeping at that time in the morning! Its so sad, that my dad got free tickets to go watch Quantum of Solace at 11am this saturday as well. And of all days, it clashes wit my test. Even my mum was like.. " why so weird got test on saturday?!!" and my dad was like.."Can't u skip it?" hahahaha. Oh well, it accounts for 40% of the subject.. which is pretty high so there's no way i can skip it. Well, guess james bond has to wait :P
Anyway.. remember this really really WEIRD picture i posted in my last last last post?
Did anybody manage to guess what was it? You won't believe me when i tell you this.
.........
..........
..........
That super SUPER SUPER UGLY HORRENDOUS DISGUSTING WEIRD ODD picture is somebody's house fence!!!!
Yes, u heard me right. Its a house made of weird looking woods :S :S :S
And no, its not a house where they rare birds in to get birds nest if thats what u were thinking....
Its like a proper house house which u and i live in ..that kinda house. Like a proper proper house where u eat sleep and shit.
The fence made of weird looking wood.
The gate.
I wanted to snap more pictures but i'm scared this big guy carrying a wood will come out to whack me. If you see it for yourself, its nothing like the ones i took. Its WAY WAY WAY uglier and BIGGER compared. I couldn't even fit the whole house onto my camera screen. So you can imagine how big it is. And that area is kinda deserted as well! :S So it was really freaky. There was a chill down my spine when i saw it.
Apparently, this house is haunted...( like why am i not suprised) .. like this crazy lady chopped up her husband and committed suicide. The reason they built this "ugly house" will make her spirit not wanna come back. Weird right??!! My mum's friend said its like an "attraction" when guests come over. To me, this "attraction" belongs to the museum for the "weirdest house award".
Seriously, i think the family living here spent a bomb on this house. Like the wood used to build it surely has to be imported and regular pests control needs to come to check the house. Imagine if it gets infested by white ants .. it'll tumble down man!! :S :S When i saw this house, I was seriously DARN FREAKED OUT! First time ever in my whole entire life have i seen this kinda house.
Don't you think so?? :S :S :S :S :S
Btw, the story about the haunted house is made up :P Hehe. I bet you wouldn't have been suprised if it WAS haunted right? :P
It still gives me this weird eerie feeling when i look at it :S
Man, am i gonna have sleepless nights.
Monday, November 10, 2008
Friday, November 7, 2008
I told you so..
Like what i said, Obama WON!!! :D
Future President of USA!
Go go goObama! Yes We Can!!
Future President of USA!
Go go goObama! Yes We Can!!
Tuesday, November 4, 2008
I endorse Obama - He's gonna win!
I know i'm supposed to tell you guys about what that last picture in the previous post is all about, but i'll leave it till my next post cos there's something more interesting going on in the world right now.. The US Presidential Elections!!
Today's the day!
Well, the as such, the title explains it all..Obama all the way!!!
Doesn't he so has the aura to become the next US president??
Why Obama? He's...
-intellectual
-calm during tension
-good judgement
-sound and prudent policies
-an inspiration to all people
-represent a change
-quality leadership
-down to earth
-energised
And look at the amount of celebrities/politicians/famous artisans that endorse him as well:
warren buffett, george soros, orlando bloom, matt damon, angelina jolie, brad pitt, eric schmidt(google ceo),clintons,colin powell (former US secretary, he's a republican)
Why not McCain?
He's old.
He votes for 94% of Bush's policies.
His policies favor the rich, not the middle lower classes and the old.
His economic policies are poor and won't create any jobs.
He has poor judgement just by choosing Palin as VP. Imagine if he takes over for a few years, due to old age he leaves, imagine Palin as President? *gasps*
Look what some of her answers are when she was interviewed:
"As Putin rears his head and comes into the air space of the United States of America, where– where do they go? It's Alaska. It's just right over the border." --Sarah Palin, explaining why Alaska's proximity to Russia gives her foreign policy experience, interview with CBS's Katie Couric, Sept. 24, 2008
"[T]hey're in charge of the U.S. Senate so if they want to they can really get in there with the senators and make a lot of good policy changes that will make life better for Brandon and his family and his classroom." --Sarah Palin, getting the vice president's constitutional role wrong after being asked by a third grader what the vice president does, interview with NBC affiliate KUSA in Colorado
Can you believe it? lol!
Another one by the celebrities..
"The difference between a hockey mom and a pit bull: lipstick, Prada shoes, a Gucci handbag, and a few $3,000 suits" ―from David Letterman's "Top Ten Sarah Palin Excuses for Spending $150,000 on Clothes"
"It's like a really bad Disney movie. The hockey mom, you know, 'oh, I'm just a hockey mom'... and she's facing down President Putin... It's totally absurd... it's a really terrifying possibility... I need to know if she really thinks that dinosaurs were here 4,000 years ago. I want to know that, I really do. Because she's gonna have the nuclear codes." - ―actor Matt Damon
Well, doesn't these reasons point and tell that Obama deserves to win? ;)
Today's the day!
Well, the as such, the title explains it all..Obama all the way!!!
Doesn't he so has the aura to become the next US president??Why Obama? He's...
-intellectual
-calm during tension
-good judgement
-sound and prudent policies
-an inspiration to all people
-represent a change
-quality leadership
-down to earth
-energised
And look at the amount of celebrities/politicians/famous artisans that endorse him as well:
warren buffett, george soros, orlando bloom, matt damon, angelina jolie, brad pitt, eric schmidt(google ceo),clintons,colin powell (former US secretary, he's a republican)
Why not McCain?
He's old.
He votes for 94% of Bush's policies.
His policies favor the rich, not the middle lower classes and the old.
His economic policies are poor and won't create any jobs.
He has poor judgement just by choosing Palin as VP. Imagine if he takes over for a few years, due to old age he leaves, imagine Palin as President? *gasps*
Look what some of her answers are when she was interviewed:
"As Putin rears his head and comes into the air space of the United States of America, where– where do they go? It's Alaska. It's just right over the border." --Sarah Palin, explaining why Alaska's proximity to Russia gives her foreign policy experience, interview with CBS's Katie Couric, Sept. 24, 2008
"[T]hey're in charge of the U.S. Senate so if they want to they can really get in there with the senators and make a lot of good policy changes that will make life better for Brandon and his family and his classroom." --Sarah Palin, getting the vice president's constitutional role wrong after being asked by a third grader what the vice president does, interview with NBC affiliate KUSA in Colorado
Can you believe it? lol!
Another one by the celebrities..
"The difference between a hockey mom and a pit bull: lipstick, Prada shoes, a Gucci handbag, and a few $3,000 suits" ―from David Letterman's "Top Ten Sarah Palin Excuses for Spending $150,000 on Clothes"
"It's like a really bad Disney movie. The hockey mom, you know, 'oh, I'm just a hockey mom'... and she's facing down President Putin... It's totally absurd... it's a really terrifying possibility... I need to know if she really thinks that dinosaurs were here 4,000 years ago. I want to know that, I really do. Because she's gonna have the nuclear codes." - ―actor Matt Damon
Well, doesn't these reasons point and tell that Obama deserves to win? ;)
-no title-
I've been so caught up with my biz law assignment till i hadn't got the time to update for quite some time eh. Hehe. Well, i've got two law assignments due next friday. Its 40% so well, have to do it properly! :P I just completed one..so another to go! ;)
Hmm besides uni and work, there's nothing much happening lately really. Boring boring..since classes started 3 weeks ago.. its been nothing but stats and law. Every single day its either stats or law or both! How boring right! *pouts*
Well, i'll update a few pics from my trip to the north. Haha, its been like more than 3 weeks.. hopefully i know which picture suits what :P
My hotel @ Kedah
The front landscape
This so reminds me of a stairway to heaven. lol.
The back landscape
When you're at the backyard its like ur in an enchanted forest! Really nice! With the small hut, pretty flowers and fishes swimming happily around the river. Would be so totally relaxing to just sit down and sip a cup of tea and breathe the fresh air! Ahh!! I can imagine it now already!! :D :D
Haha.. its not actually a hotel (judging by the pics if u thought so you're really silly or totally blur) Its my mum's friend's brother's house. Yeap! So thats where we spent a few nights. Totally fun! They brought us around to eat.. we had great and yummy... like really yummy food!! Sharksfin meat and roasted chicken and duck and i cant remember what else. But i remember its totally delicious!! And its totally cheap too!!! What more can u ask? ;) Ahh!! Its enough to make my mouth water now. Man, this is bad since its 2 in the morning. When ur hungry at this time, well well u wouldn't wanna eat :P
Well, its getting late. Will blog about Haatyai in my next post. I love that place! :P
In the mean time, try guessing this pic at the bottom. Will blog about it next! :P You wouldn't believe it when i tell you! To me, its just horrendous :S :S
Till then! ;)
XOXO
Hmm besides uni and work, there's nothing much happening lately really. Boring boring..since classes started 3 weeks ago.. its been nothing but stats and law. Every single day its either stats or law or both! How boring right! *pouts*
Well, i'll update a few pics from my trip to the north. Haha, its been like more than 3 weeks.. hopefully i know which picture suits what :P
My hotel @ Kedah
The front landscape
This so reminds me of a stairway to heaven. lol.
The back landscape
When you're at the backyard its like ur in an enchanted forest! Really nice! With the small hut, pretty flowers and fishes swimming happily around the river. Would be so totally relaxing to just sit down and sip a cup of tea and breathe the fresh air! Ahh!! I can imagine it now already!! :D :D
Haha.. its not actually a hotel (judging by the pics if u thought so you're really silly or totally blur) Its my mum's friend's brother's house. Yeap! So thats where we spent a few nights. Totally fun! They brought us around to eat.. we had great and yummy... like really yummy food!! Sharksfin meat and roasted chicken and duck and i cant remember what else. But i remember its totally delicious!! And its totally cheap too!!! What more can u ask? ;) Ahh!! Its enough to make my mouth water now. Man, this is bad since its 2 in the morning. When ur hungry at this time, well well u wouldn't wanna eat :P
Well, its getting late. Will blog about Haatyai in my next post. I love that place! :P
In the mean time, try guessing this pic at the bottom. Will blog about it next! :P You wouldn't believe it when i tell you! To me, its just horrendous :S :S
Till then! ;)
XOXO
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
